Wednesday, March 12, 2014

I'm the goddamn Batman.

A few of my newer friends have been asking me why I've got a fondness for (and an affinity with) Batman.

Short story: my brain.

Long story: Mmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyy braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiin.

Batman's considered a master strategist and one of the most prepared superheroes in the DC Universe. He doesn't sleep and he's trained himself in a large number of categories "just in case" he needs to know how to do something.

No sleep. Only justice.

He thinks in his sleep.

While I don't have billions of dollars and a company that can stand up to the government (Bruce Wayne did that in No Man's Land back in the 90's), nor do I have a dozen years of training in a hundred fields of expertise, I do have a brain like Batman. It's always going, always planning, trying to figure out how to best approach a situation to achieve a desired outcome (usually by setting up situations where people do exactly what others would expect them to do in a way that would benefit me). I'm also not afraid to use whatever I've got at my disposal (personality, audacity, charm, whatever) to further my goals.

If Batman wasn't Batman, he'd be a Magnificent Bastard. I've fully admitted I'm a magnificent bastard to many people on several occasions. The people that know me can't deny I'm bold, charismatic, audacious, devious and savvy, quick to think and aware of what kind of a challenge I'm dealing with when it presents itself (and sometimes before, if there's hints beforehand).

Batman got his back broken and came back from it. My own mother has told my fiance "Stick with him. He's a little trooper." Coming from a woman who's worked for the military (and Disneyland, and we all know they're secretly running or outright own about a tenth of the planet), that's pretty awesome.

Somebody had sent me a picture of themselves on the internet (not that kind) and I had spoken to them on voice (either over Left 4 Dead 2 or Skype) but my curiosity had gotten the better of me... so I used Google's reverse image search to do a search. It took me about 20 minutes but I discovered that it wasn't them. I've done this several times. The catch is, the image was flipped, cropped and had distinguishing features taken out of it... but I still found out what was really going on.

Generally speaking, it's usually kind of hard to get something by me if I care (which is my greatest weakness, apathy).

On the topic of Left 4 Dead 2 (and video games in general), I win a lot. I'm quick enough on my feet to handle a crisis situation and that's punctuated for emphasis in games where you're in a perpetual crisis situation. The same thing is true in every other video game I've played (which is why I go through them so quickly) - I figure out how to handle a given situation and I handle it. When World of Warcraft came out, rogues were infamous for stunlocks followed by the rapid and painful asskicking that killed their opponent.

SORRY, NOT SORRY.

During Burning Crusade, rogues were "nerfed" (weakened, or "given nerf weapons") quite a bit but even then, I was going on raids and doing respectably well in PVP (I was among the first into Karazhan on Shadow Council just because I brought more damage and adaptability to the table than some of the "hardcore raiders" because I wasn't a goddamn idiot, knew my class and was quick on my feet). During Wrath of the Lich King? Same thing. It was worse in Cataclysm and Mists of Pandaria because we were OVERPOWERED then (which is sort of like giving Batman superpowers on top of being Batman).

Because my brain is wired the way it is, it gives me an edge in times where "brute force" isn't going to work. Of course, when brute force is needed, I'm not about to get MY hands dirty - I've got friends for that (kind of like Batman having Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood, Batgirl, the Justice League, the Outsiders, et cetera) on the off-chance I can't handle it (audacity helps in a fight and Tyler Durden wasn't kidding when he says "Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger").

I grew up playing a lot role-playing games. That helped me figure out how to deal with unusual situations and how to handle social situations. The video games I was addicted to helped me learn how technology worked (and it is, indeed, the Age of the Geek, baby). The comic books I read helped gave me a good handle on right and wrong in more abstract ways (because good does not always mean nice and sometimes, bad guys make the best good guys - bad guys may be the only good guys you get).

My upbringing may have been unorthodox but that doesn't mean it wasn't a good one, and a combination of things affecting me the way they did culminated in me being compared to (and thus, taking up the cape and cowl) of the metaphorical Batman.

Also, I'm the goddamn BATMAN.

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